The Christmas Survival Guide I Wish I'd Had

How one widow turned her hardest lessons into practical support for others

Eight years after my husband Kevin died, I'm still not a fan of Christmas. While I have learned to carry my grief, many of you may just be starting out on this difficult path.

If you're dreading the holidays, you're not alone. And the struggle isn't just emotional - though that's what most people focus on.

The Missing Piece

You see, mind and body work together. And when the body doesn't get all the attention it so desperately needs, we suffer - needlessly. Because the knowledge is there.

My book fills a gap that rarely gets talked about: the practical, nutrition-based support people need on top of other support, especially during emotionally challenging times like Christmas.

Through painful personal experience and professional insights, I pieced together all that happens to our body when hit by grief, including the imbalance that nearly cost me a long-standing friendship. Nobody had warned me, so I walked blind into a preventable crisis.

Where It All Started

After Kevin died from leukaemia, our Ayurvedic doctor gave me one piece of advice: "You need to eat three happy meals every day."

After supporting Kevin through multiple chemotherapies, I knew what he meant: fibre-rich meals at regular times. A warm breakfast. The daily routine we'd built to support his recovery.

It took me most of the first year to figure out how to do this alone. For those of us without children, cooking for one is its own emotional obstacle course. But I persevered and slowly found a new rhythm.

Then, barely a year in, I started travelling. And learned how quickly things unravel when the basics fall away.

The Italy Breakfast That Taught Me a Crucial Lesson

Just after Kevin's first anniversary, friends invited me to Italy. A change of scenery, they said. It will help, they said.

I should have planned ahead. But not having connected the dots yet, I accepted the hotel without checking food access, restaurant hours, or meal logistics.

The hotel was only accessible by car. We arrived just before 3pm - restaurant closing time. Nobody was bothered about missing lunch except me.

By day three, my emotions were all over the place. Eating at odd times. Mainly pasta, pizza, bread. Hardly any vegetables.

When the only warm breakfast option - bacon and eggs - wasn't available, I finally lost it. Hit the table with my fist. My closest friend called me "aggressive."

Six people on that trip. Nobody understood what I was dealing with. Honestly, neither did I - not until much later.

My body was in crisis. Emotional stress combined with blood-sugar spiking meals had thrown my system into chaos. And I'd walked straight into it because nobody had warned me this could happen.

What Nobody Tells You

Here's what I learned the hard way: Grief doesn't just affect your heart and mind. It triggers a massive stress response that disrupts everything - sleep, breathing, digestion, energy, hormones, blood sugar. And with it, your ability to cope.

Without regular, balanced meals, I had no foundation. The pasta, pizza, and bread weren't giving my body what it needed to handle the stress I was under.

This is not only my experience. I see it around me all the time - people on what I call 'the grief and blood sugar rollercoaster', barely holding it together or on medication because they are not aware of this.

Then December arrives with its additional challenges: emotional triggers everywhere, more erratic eating patterns, rich foods your compromised digestion can't handle, late-night eating further disrupting your sleep, social pressures with zero energy, and often more alcohol than usual.

Stress, holiday food, alcohol, and irregular eating can make the rollercoaster worse - making your blood sugar and emotions spiral even further out of control.

The feeling of overwhelm is real. You're not imagining it. You're not weak. And you're not "aggressive" for needing regular, nourishing meals. Your body is genuinely struggling, and what and when you eat becomes crucial to preventing that double rollercoaster.

The Resource I Wish I'd Had

Nourishing Through Loss: A Gentle Holiday Guide isn't a typical cookbook or grief memoir. It's the practical manual I wish someone had handed me when I was barely coping.

What's inside:

50+ simple recipes designed to keep your blood sugar stable - from my 'Magic' Soup (one-pot meal, perfect for travel or zero-energy days) to Energy Balls (emergency nourishment when cooking feels impossible) and nourishing desserts that provide genuine comfort without the sugar chaos.

Every recipe follows the "magic trio": vegetables/fruit + protein + healthy fats. This combination prevents the constant spikes and crashes that make grief feel unbearable.

Practical strategies including creating 'eating anchors' to help restore your body's natural rhythm, the 80:20 approach (control what you can, let go of perfection), scripts for saying 'no' at social gatherings, emergency resets for digestive upsets, and simple self-care practices that actually help.

Plus "Travelling In Challenging Times" – the chapter I wish I’d had, complete with my Italy lessons, what to pack, and how to navigate family visits when meal routines differ.

Who This Book Is For

This is for anyone facing Christmas without a loved one who:

• Feels physically exhausted on top of emotionally overwhelmed

• Struggles with appetite, digestion, energy, mood, or sleep

• Needs simple, practical strategies - not vague advice like 'eat well' or 'take care of yourself'

What Readers Are Saying

One widow wrote: "I like the way you keep emphasising that it's not about perfect eating but changing a few things to help you feel a little better and also be kind to yourself as it's tough getting through Christmas when you're grieving.”

What I Can and Can’t Promise

I can't fix your grief or take away the emotional pain. But I can help with the physical depletion and imbalances that make everything harder.

When your blood sugar is stable, you have more stamina and resilience. When you have a meal plan, decision-making is less exhausting. When your body is well-nourished, you have more capacity to cope with the hard days.

Permission to Do Things Differently

Getting through Christmas while grieving takes tremendous effort. You're allowed to do it differently - eat differently, plan differently, celebrate (or not celebrate) differently.

When grief throws your life into chaos, you can't control the emotional waves. But you CAN give your body the foundation it needs to cope better.

Even one warm, balanced meal can change how you feel that day. You don't have to get it perfect. You just need tools that actually help.

If you want a complete guide to managing these challenges and having practical support throughout the holidays, Nourishing Through Loss: A Gentle Holiday Guide brings together all the recipes and strategies you need.

Available on Amazon (print): https://amzn.to/4ipfF8t or download the PDF: https://tr.ee/N6ge-zHQA1

About Sabine

Sabine Horner is a qualified nutritionist, yoga therapist, and Ayurvedic health practitioner who supports bereaved people struggling with the very real physical impact of grief and the day-to-day practicalities of cooking for only one person.

After losing her husband Kevin, Sabine experienced how grief affects not only our emotions and mood, but also our digestion, appetite, daily routines, blood sugar, energy, and sleep. She combines professional expertise with lived experience as a widow to provide practical, achievable strategies for physical self-care that actually work - and make emotional pain a little easier to bear.

Sabine is the author of Nourishing Through Loss: A Gentle Holiday Guide and provides support through practical grief resources, cooking workshops, yoga classes, comprehensive health assessments, and 1:1 mind-body support. You can find out more about Sabine at www.sabinehorner.com.