As a culture we don't really allow ourselves to talk about grief
You may have heard of the expression “feeling like a weight has been lifted”, well in my own personal experience it truly did. To have that sense of release, to not be holding on to my pain, not allowing it to drag me down, the feeling of letting it go was immense and life changing.
Letting go of the pain allowed me to have a better relationship with my family, friends and also those I worked with. I had no idea the impact holding onto it all was having on my relationships.
I was very aware of the impact it was having on my health but chose to ignore it! That was a big mistake. I was able to accept myself and to feel like I could live again. I had a greater sense of self-worth.
What would letting go of your pain mean to you?
As a culture we don't really allow ourselves to talk about grief, grief of any kind, not just grief associated with bereavement. Rarely do our thoughts and feelings get expressed directly, which results in us carrying around a whole 'backlog' of unexpressed, misunderstood emotions and pain.
Grief is hard. Longing for the person you loved and knowing what to do with all those emotions, often conflicting, is exhausting and it hurts.
Learning to let go of the pain after a loss is one of the most courageous decisions you can make. Letting go of the past will allow you to live in the present. It isn’t easy to face the things we run from, we don’t like the thought of having to face something that causes us pain. We know we have to ‘do the work’ yet still we find an excuse not to do it.
Learning to Let Go of Pain After a Loss
Ask yourself this: How long do you want your pain to define you? I allowed my pain to take over my life for far too long. The day I faced it and took the action to let it go was the day that my life changed for the better.
If you’re hanging on to pain from your past that you would like to be relieved of, you don’t have to offload it alone. Find a grief specialist here.
Jill Attree is a Advanced Grief Recovery Method Specialist, based in Dorset. Jill has helped grievers throughout the UK by listening without judgement, analysis or criticism - so that you can move forward through your loss. To help you create a brighter tomorrow. Find out more about Jill.