What is Grief Tending?

Grief Tending can offer people tools to work with grief

Grief Tending is a practical approach to working with all kinds of loss, change and suffering, including bereavement. It is usually a guided group process that includes exercises and rituals where grief may be expressed. The focus is on giving time and attention to the landscape of feelings, without expectation or offering solutions.

Using rituals and processes, such as writing, singing and mindfulness, each Grief Tending event takes a group on a journey to build trust, surface feelings, express and witness, soothe and integrate. This form has been woven from many strands, including African wisdom from Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé, the writings of Francis Weller, Joanna Macy, and Martin Prechtel, with the understanding of neuroscience.

A one-off Grief Tending event may bring participants new perspectives, connection to self and others, as well as an experience of shared humanity. It will usually include an explicit enquiry into resourcing and support, as a foundation for exploring grief. Being held in community with an experienced team can be a profound experience.

A Grief Tending workshop can work particularly well when someone has had enough one-to-one support to be less in acute crisis. It twins well with individual therapeutic support that is ongoing.

Many therapists and bereavement counsellors refer their clients to Grief Tending when something is stuck, or it feels appropriate to bring in a group process. Grief Tending may not be suitable for someone whose grief is currently so intense that they are unable to bring their attention to others, or take part in a group where roles shift between giving attention and being heard.

The cultural conversation around grief is growing. This has been amplified by collective themes which bring challenges – whether it’s a global pandemic, wars, biodiversity loss, or the cost of living. A space is opening up for recognising grief as a collection of natural emotional responses in relation to a wide variety of sources.

This may include past traumas, present challenges and anxieties about the future. Grief Tending offers a space that is available to people who are coping with bereavement, as well as those who aren’t. We believe that every loss is worthy of grieving. While not all grief is equal, people are equally welcome in Grief Tending spaces.

Grief Tending events are becoming more available and better known. They happen around the world in person and online. It may be a small group workshop, a bigger community event, or a huge group grief ritual.

We typically have 12 participants in our small groups, or more than 100 people at a festival. Many people have read ‘The Wild Edge of Sorrow’ by Francis Weller, or ‘Tending Grief’ by Camille Sapara Barton. They may even have seen one of my animations, which aim to show more about the practice.

Many people struggle to know what to say when a friend has lost a loved one. We may have been brought up to hide our feelings when we are mourning. It is also common to feel numb or overwhelmed, without enough guidance to move through the currents of grief.

Bringing together different practices, Grief Tending can offer people tools to work with grief. We model ways to acknowledge, remember and mark significant losses. We include some psycho-education around feelings and sources of grief.

We encourage an awareness of the body and our inner experience. In the practice, rituals offer thresholds to contain intensity, and with a trauma sensitive approach, ways to regulate the nervous system are essential. In these times, Grief Tending can provide a much-needed resource to navigate both personal and collective grief.

You can find out more from my website: griefsupport.org.uk

About Sarah

Sarah Pletts is a compassionate Grief Tender with an MA in Fine Art, co-facilitates supportive workshops that create safe spaces for processing diverse grief experiences. Her practice integrates trauma-sensitive embodiment techniques, ritual, and creativity to help participants navigate their emotional landscapes, building resilience, empathy, and self-acceptance along the way. You can learn more about Sarah here.