I just wanted to acknowledge others like me who feel conflicting emotions around Mother's Day
As I approach the second Mother’s Day without my mum, I’m finding I’m learning to shut out the general noise around the day, and hitting ‘delete’ on any emails trying to flog me anything for that special lady who is no longer here.
What I learned last year was the days leading up to Mother’s Day were far worse than the day itself. Last year, I woke up to tea and breakfast in bed. That’s when it struck me that Mother’s Day isn’t just about my mum.
It’s also about me. I’ve got three children and yes, I deserve to be treated, too! And my Mother-in-Law, who frankly deserves celebrating, too. (I know… I’m lucky, I got a good one!).
I just wanted to acknowledge others like me who feel conflicting emotions around this 24 hours in our year, and say it’s ok. Feel what you’re feeling. Cry happy/sad tears. Grab a hug if you need one. Some may feel very wobbled at the prospect of Mother's Day, while others will think of it as yet another day without their mum.
However you feel is a normal and natural response to loss for you. Don't compare your feelings and actions to others, or you could find yourself feeling like you haven't mourned enough or properly, or like you’re not doing enough to remember your mum.
If you’re reading this and have a friend who has lost their mum, and are perhaps on their own on Mother's Day, a kind gesture such as flowers, or an offer of a walk are usually welcome ways to recognise their loss.
Whatever you plan to do - a trip to the beach hut where I’ll make bacon butties and a cuppa for us to remember my mum - be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to put on a show or be brave for anyone.