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Grief: You can’t get over it, you can’t get under it but you can work through it

One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to treating grief

One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to treating grief

If you get to the point of wanting to do something about your broken heart, but don’t know where to start, let us help you. While it is perfectly normal to feel loss in whatever way it manifests itself, we’re not taught what to do with those feelings.

It’s very easy to get to the point where others seem to think you’re ‘over it’ or that time should have healed you, resulting in you tucking your feelings neatly away in a place that’s buried deep.

Unfortunately, you might find that your feelings have other ideas. They can pop up unexpectedly with big reactions to small things. You might find you’re struggling to concentrate, or filling your time up. They might appear as ill mental health or disease.

When to get help:

  • Anytime! It’s never too soon to start work on your broken heart, even if the person you’re grieving for is terminally ill, as you’re already experiencing loss in the form of change and anticipating their death.

  • If you feel like your grief isn’t going away.

  • You might feel that someone else has been through something far worse and you shouldn’t feel so sorry for yourself. Comparing loss doesn’t help heal you from the pain you’re going through and it’s ok to ask for help.

  • If you experienced loss a long time ago, even years, and you feel like you haven’t moved forward.

  • If your loss was sudden and shocking.

  • If you’re feeling any kind of shame or guilt.

  • If you know you’re distracting yourself and keeping busy.

  • You’re turning to food and/or drink, or shopping, or other distractions to numb the pain you’re in underneath.

Where do you start?

Your grief journey is personal to you. One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to treating grief. Go with what feels right for you.

Our website has a Find a Specialist directory - and our grief specialists have lots of different ways to help you. They are based around the UK and many can help via video link. Between them, they use a variety of tools to help, such as art therapy, life coaching, the Grief Recovery Method, bereavement counselling, and tapping.

Each expert has their own page with details of what they can do for you and how you can get in touch with them.

If this feels too overwhelming or you haven’t got time to search, please email us at with your contact details and some background about you, we will help you find the right expert for you.


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