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  • Writer's pictureMaria

When a Will isn’t What You Expected

Dealing with the unexpected contents of a will

Dealing with the unexpected contents of a will

Dealing with the unexpected contents of a will can be a challenging and emotional experience. Discovering that the will of a loved one doesn't align with your expectations can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and even angry.

You can no longer have a conversation with the person and you’re unable to find out their reasoning. It can feel overwhelming. However, it's important to approach the situation with understanding and find healthy ways to cope. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this difficult time.

Allow Yourself to Feel

It's natural to experience a range of emotions when you discover that a will doesn't meet your expectations. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and acknowledge them without judgement. Whether it's disappointment, sadness, or anger, allowing yourself to process these feelings is an essential step toward healing.

Seek Legal Advice

If you have concerns about the validity or fairness of the will, it may be helpful to consult with a solicitor who specialises in estate law. They can provide guidance on the legal aspects of the situation and help you understand your rights and options. A professional perspective can bring clarity and help you make informed decisions.

Communicate Openly

If possible, try to engage in open and honest communication with the executor of the will or other family members involved. Express your feelings and concerns in a calm and respectful manner. Sharing your perspective may help you gain insights into the reasoning behind the decisions made and provide an opportunity for understanding.

Seek Emotional Support

Dealing with the unexpected contents of a will can be emotionally challenging. Reach out to trusted family members, friends, or a therapist to share your thoughts and emotions. Talking to someone who can provide a listening ear and offer support can be incredibly beneficial during this difficult time.

Focus on Healing

Instead of dwelling on the content of the will, shift your focus to healing and self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time in nature. Surround yourself with positive influences and take care of your emotional and physical well-being.

Reflect on Intentions

Remember that a will represents the wishes and intentions of the deceased. It's essential to respect their decisions, even if they don't align with your expectations. Try to understand the motivations and reasoning behind their choices. Reflect on the relationship you shared and the memories you cherish, rather than solely focusing on material possessions.

Seek Closure in Other Ways

If the contents of the will have left you feeling unresolved, consider finding alternative ways to seek closure. This could involve writing a letter to your loved one expressing your feelings, visiting their final resting place to pay your respects, or participating in a meaningful ritual or ceremony.

Consider Mediation

In situations where conflicts arise among family members due to unexpected will contents, mediation can be a valuable tool. A trained mediator can facilitate discussions and help family members find common ground, fostering understanding and resolving disputes in a peaceful manner.

Remember, coping with the unexpected contents of a will takes time and patience. Each person's journey is unique, so be kind to yourself as you navigate through this process of acceptance and healing.


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